Love of My Life
by Rouge Winter
Summary: Kadsuki and Jubei's anniversary is coming soon and Jubei is having trouble voicing out his emotions to Kadsuki. Unable to do so, he manages to tell Kadsuki how he feels in his own way.


Love of My Life  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Get Backers though I wouldn't mind owning a very cute chibi Ginji. =)  
  
Warnings: Just shounen-ai. Kinda off track from the ones I usually write huh?  
  
GA: My first ever Get Backers fic so be nice. Sorry if ever the characters are OOC. I deal with Weiss much better, though I think my characters there are OOC too... By the way, a very big thanks to Shishou. Your (supposedly) white and innocent dragon is at your feet offering you unending praises for pushing me to write a GB fic. =) In any case......... lets get the Jubei and Kadsuki lovin' going.  
  
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A worried expression played along Kadsuki Fuchoin's face as he sat atop a building's roof that overlooked the calm metropolis that paled in comparison to the towering and looming figure of Infinity City situated to his right as he tried to pass his day away. It had been a month now since the whole Makubex kidnapping incident and Kadsuki was still getting over the fact that one of his closest friends would betray him.  
  
Toshiki had been with him and Jubei since the time of Fuuga and he shuddered to think what could have changed in his friend's perception of him. The feeling was somehow similar to when he first found out that his own protector, Jubei, had gone against him several months before when he was helping Makubex with the Implosion Lens. Luckily, after the incident they managed to resolve their differences and went back to being best friends, maybe even more. Somehow Kadsuki would never know if he could have gotten out of Mugenjou the second time with out Jubei being there beside him all the way.  
  
He allowed his stray thoughts to drift towards his protector along with the moments when both of them had the time to spend just sitting in each others arms and not having a care in the world. He also remembered how he would tease his friend about there being another woman or joke around that Jubei would desert him the moment he found the love of his life. But Jubei would quickly retaliate that there was none and that he would never trade Kadsuki for anything in the world at the same time fighting a blush that always seemed to return to that same spot on his cheeks whenever they discussed the topic. Jubei could be so naïve at times and Kadsuki would just laugh it off, wrap his arms around his friend's neck bringing his face down and closer to his so that their noses touch. His fingers would entwine themselves in the soft layers of Jubei's hair before softly breathing out the words "I know".  
  
But now with Jubei busy helping Makubex with the problems constantly plaguing Mugenjou and himself not being able to find an opportunity to get away from retrieval jobs, they found themselves spending lesser time with each other than they regularly would have.  
  
The thread weaver gave a sigh as he closed his eyes and hung his head causing the bells on his hair to tinkle slightly. Oh how he missed Jubei's companionship on nights like these. Somehow the chill in the night's air wasn't the same with out the needle handler to give him warmth like he used to. Shivering a little, he hugged himself trying to imitate the feeling of having him there but failing to completely have the result he longed for. He only hoped that tomorrow Jubei would be given some time off so that they could spend it together trying to catch up on what they've missed. Aside from that, Kadsuki desperately wanted to spend that night with his friend because it marked their sixth month anniversary of being lovers and he desperately wanted it to be a night that both would not soon forget.  
  
Getting an idea as to how he wanted the night of discussion to proceed, he jumped off the roof only to land silently on the soft ground below. And as he made his way through the crowded streets of the city, he couldn't help but smile at the thought.  
  
--  
  
Jubei followed the narrow path of the alley that led away from the bustling city streets and into a dark perimeter that was being overshadowed on all four corners by buildings. Trashcans with their residential stray cats and rats claimed one side while the other remained relatively clean save for the graffiti on the walls. Though this wasn't the sort of place where Jubei would usually conduct his affairs, it was the only place he could think of that Kadsuki would not find out what he was planning.  
  
Their anniversary was only a few days away and Jubei wanted to show Kadsuki how he really felt for the thread handler. Sure they exchanged the occasional hugs and kisses but Jubei had yet to say the three words that he knew Kadsuki had wanted to hear ever since they returned to being best friends. Not once in their unspoken relationship had the needle master confessed how he felt for his friend and he knew that Kadsuki didn't mind that he never said a word since the emotions they felt were enough to justify that. Yet somehow Jubei could never shake the feeling that Kadsuki wanted and needed to know what was inside his heart. He knew that his best friend would never rush into things if it troubles him but for once Jubei wanted Kadsuki to at least own the sensation of being told he was loved. Not the type that conspired between friends but of something more.  
  
And since Jubei wasn't exactly the type to quickly voice out his feelings, even when it came to Kadsuki, he was desperately in need of a little help to point him in the right direction.  
  
"You're late." The calm voice of a woman said from the shadows as Jubei snapped out of his reverie. He had almost forgotten the reason why he was here in the first place.  
  
"Sorry, Makubex needed a little help with a gang in the lower towns so........."  
  
"It's okay." The girl said again as she finally stepped out of the shadows. "Lets just hope you don't make Kadsuki wait like this often. It would be a shame if you two break up just because of your tardiness."  
  
This caused the blind man to give a little smile. "I really appreciate you helping me out with this Himiko."  
  
"Anything for a friend, think nothing of it." The blue haired girl said as she waved a hand to dismiss the topic. "Okay, now to get down to business. You want to tell Kadsuki how you feel right?" A nod from the needle handler was what she got in reply. "Have you thought of how you're going to tell him already? Like a strategy or something?"  
  
"Strategy?" the brown haired man asked as he titled his head slightly at the idea. "What do you mean by strategy?"  
  
"You know, have a nice candle light dinner for just the two of you in order to set the mood. Then after the meal you take his hand in yours and tell him in the most sweet and romantic way that he's the only one that can complete you."  
  
"Oh, really? I thought I'd just tell him that I l-lo- .........that.........that I.........you know.........and it'll be over." Jubei raised a hand to scratch his head also trying to fight a blush that was forming. "I never really thought of having to tell him in such a manner but I like that idea."  
  
A sweat drop appeared on Himiko's head. "You must be the most unromantic and pathetic person that I know. You can't even say the words 'I love you' even when Kadsuki's not around. How do you expect to say it to him when the time comes?"  
  
"This is exactly why I asked you for help." Irritation marking the man's brow.  
  
"Hmm.........okay, how about we focus on you getting to actually say the words first? We'll work out the dinner part later on because if you don't know how to say the words then we're sunk right?" Another nod was her answer.  
  
"Okay, follow me." The surviving member of the Last Children said to the inheritor of the Kakei needles. "I."  
  
"I." Jubei followed with confidence and undeterred hope.  
  
"Love."  
  
"L-lo-lo-l-love........." his voice quivering at the word and he slowly felt his self-confidence falter.  
  
"You."  
  
"Y-you."  
  
"Good, now for the whole sentence. I Love You."  
  
"I.........I.........I-I.........I.........can't do it........." a somewhat crestfallen expression crossed his face.  
  
"Yes you can." Himiko said trying to assure the blind man. "You do love Kadsuki don't you?"  
  
"Yes........." He voiced out as if unsure.  
  
"Do you or don't you?" the young girl's voice filled with more determination than Jubei's.  
  
"Yes I do." He answered, this time with more certainty.  
  
"And you want him to know that, right?" a hopeful look appeared on Himiko's face as her tone rose up a little louder than her speaking voice.  
  
"Yes, I want him to know that." Jubei's voice also growing to match that of Lady Poison's.  
  
"Then say it!" her fist was balled and raised up in a victory pose as manner of speech already reaching to something of a scream. "Say 'I LOVE YOU'!!!"  
  
"I l-lo-lo-loooo-.........." as quick as the pep talk started, it screeched to a halt as Jubei started to slur with the words. His body was now bent slightly forward as he clenched his hands and struggled with the words, trying his hardest to form a coherent sentence.  
  
Himiko shook her head and placed a hand on her forehead. This was going to be a long day.  
  
--  
  
Kadsuki hummed a happy tune as he placed his newly brought grocery on the kitchen counter. He had spent the day trying to find the perfect ingredients to surprise Jubei with tomorrow night and hopefully manage to coerce him into saying how he felt. Jubei wasn't exactly one to easily declare his true emotions, though Kadsuki didn't want to push, he wanted to be sure if Jubei really felt the same. Even if they spent some time with each other doing things normal friends would never be caught doing, he wanted to hear it straight from Jubei.  
  
Ideas of how their relationship might progress made the thread weaver giddy as he began unpacking the newly bought items. They usually just spent their time cuddling each other but hopefully if Jubei fesses up, they could take another step in their relationship. Kadsuki couldn't help but smile at the thought. Though getting the man to say it would prove to be a difficult task, Kadsuki was up for the challenge. Taking the flour he was to use out of the brown paper bag and bringing it into his arms, he imagined it was his protector as he drew an oddly shaped pair of sunglasses and hair that resembled that of Jubei's with the help of a marker pen.  
  
His smile was now slowly being changed into a wide grin as ideas of Jubei filled his mind. How Jubei would whisper the words he longed to hear repetitively as they lay beside each other with his arm around Kadsuki's waist pulling him into a warm embrace. Or how Jubei would take Kadsuki in his arms and just ravage him with unending kisses. This and other such thoughts filled the string master's mind as he uttered a muffled squeal into the flour bag he was hugging tight against his chest.  
  
With out warning, the bag of flour tore open from the pressure and exploded into a cloud of powder with a soft 'pooft', spilling all of its contents on the kitchen counter, floor and all over Kadsuki's face and hair. Some even found its way into the string man's mouth and he was forced to cough it out. A thick coat of the white substance covered his face could be compared to the type that masked the face of a clown. As he blinked to clear his vision, he stared at the broken bag and the mess he made alternately. Smiling slightly, he made a note to buy a new bag of flour right after he cleaned up both in the kitchen and himself.  
  
--  
  
A big bold vein appeared on the young transporter's temple as she held clenched fists at her side while her shoulders' would make a Richter scale go off. They had been going at it since this morning and Himiko's patience was severely wearing thin. On the far corner slumped the defeated Jubei still trying to work out the words that didn't seem to want to leave his lips while the sun turned a slight tinge of orange marking the coming of dusk.  
  
"You really haven't got the backbone to say it have you?!" Sarcasm tainting her voice as she stalked over to the man, restraining herself just barely from using the puppet perfume just to make this all easier on herself though it didn't mean that she wasn't ready to use it if necessary.  
  
"We've tried everything from pretending that I'm Kadsuki to asking Clay-man for an imitation of him, which I might add will be paid by you, and NOTHING works! This is pathetic!"  
  
"I'm sorry okay?" Jubei said as he tried to defend himself startling Himiko. "If you think your frustrated, how do you think I feel?! I want to tell him more than anything in this world but I.........I just........." unable to express himself fully even now, he gave an angry grunt and punched the wall beside him with all of his power, causing the cement to crack and give way to the force.  
  
"Okay, calm down." Lady Poison said as she raised her hands, trying to placate the man. Jubei in turn paced himself and turned to face the young woman. "The problem is that you can't say it in front of Kadsuki or even if he isn't here, you stumble at the thought right?"  
  
"Yes, sort of........."  
  
"All we have to do is make you think of saying it with out him clouding your mind."  
  
"You mean pretend that he's someone else?" Jubei asked with a hint of dislike in his tone. "I can't do that. It'll be like betraying him."  
  
"You got any better ideas? Besides, you won't be betraying him. You'll be doing it for his sake anyway right?" Himiko said in an encouraging voice, knowing that this has to work.  
  
"I guess." Jubei shifted uneasily from where he stood and the blue haired woman knew that this would be hard for the guy, but it would be for his own good.  
  
"Now, c'mon, let's try it." As Himiko said this, she was startled as Jubei suddenly took her hands into his own and caused her to lift her gaze to him.  
  
"Himiko," The man started in a breathed out way. "You have no idea how long I have wanted to say this to you and I know that you've wanted to hear it too. You have been there every step of the way with me, through thick and thin, and, well, I guess all I want to say is......... I love you."  
  
--  
  
A happy Kadsuki Fuchoin walked down the streets of the busy city and headed to the nearby convenient store in order to purchase another bag of flour. He decided to take the scenic route and pass by the park to enjoy the calm serenity of it. People usually would flock to a public place such as this but as the sun was descending into the horizon, they gradually left. Kadsuki didn't mind though and thought it better that the people were leaving. They would just think him crazy for having a wide smile plastered on his lips and the silence also gave him the opportunity to dream more of his protector.  
  
He hadn't expected to be this hung over Jubei and the reason probably lay on them not being able to see each other but he didn't care much as to why. He was more concerned with their relationship that was yet to come, hoping that all this wishful thinking would not be in vein.  
  
Putting that thought aside first and focusing his attention as to what he has to do to achieve that result, he rounded the corner that led to the store but stopped short as he heard a familiar voice coming from an alley just a distance further. He walked a little closer to the sound, unable to put a rein on his curious side.  
  
'It couldn't have been Jubei's voice, could it?' the thread handler said to himself. He halted just outside the alley way and listened closely to what the voice had to say. Usually shrewd and cheerful brown eyes widened with disbelief as he heard it with his own ears. This was Jubei, his Jubei that was talking, there's no mistake in that. But what he couldn't believe was that his protector would say anything like that to anybody else. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he tried to control his rasped breathing but unable to stop his heart from breaking.  
  
Jubei had betrayed him, betrayed in the love that they shared. He refused to believe that the man he called friend would deceive him yet again. Frustration and confusion welled up inside the young strings master and he couldn't explain where it was directed to. Some part of him was angry at Jubei for throwing away the trust they had built and the other part of him was angry at himself for getting played. He had expected that Jubei was returning his love but maybe he was just hopeful and Jubei was probably being a good friend. But that didn't mean that the man was given the right not to tell him anything. After all, Jubei was only human. Still.........  
  
Kadsuki couldn't take it anymore as he lifted a hand to cover his lips, unconscious to the slight tinkling of the bells caused by the sudden shifting of his body.  
  
--  
  
Jubei turned as he heard the recognizable sound of Kadsuki's bells nearby and became aware of a soft sob close by. Releasing a still stunned Himiko's hands, he made his way towards the entrance of the alley and wasn't the least bit surprised to find the man he feared to be there, just upset at himself for not sensing him there sooner.  
  
"Kadsuki," the blind man started as he reached out a hand to try and comfort the man.  
  
"Don't touch me!" Kadsuki yelled as he batted the hand away with his own. Jubei needn't see his friend's face to know how he would look. Kadsuki's face would be filled with pain and hurt and his cheeks would be trailed with tears spilling from his beautiful brown eyes. Teeth probably clenched with anger but sorrow painted as plain as day. For the one time in his life, Jubei was thankful he couldn't see Kadsuki's face. He could never bear the onslaught of emotion if he ever did.  
  
Unable to take what was happening, Kadsuki turned around and began to run. He didn't care where as long as it was away from the man that he called his friend.  
  
"Kadsuki! Wait! Please let me explain." Jubei tried in a desperate attempt to clarify the situation to the thread handler knowing that if he didn't, his friend would never speak to him again. Chasing the Fuchoin descendant, he completely forgot the other person in the alley.  
  
--  
  
Jubei caught up with his friend while trying to dodge and avoid the strings that were thrown his way. After a tiresome run, he managed to pin a still crying and equally tired man to a tree in the middle of the park which was by now deserted. Kadsuki struggled in Jubei's grasp but the needle wielder did not give in. No matter how much Kadsuki begged to be let go, the older man just remained silent and waited for him to calm down.  
  
Soon, Kadsuki was leaning his head on the tree trunk, gasping for air and was threatening to crumble to the ground if Jubei didn't hold him in place. The successor of the strings felt Jubei's soft hand on his shoulder to steady him and looked up at the man with a threatening gaze that he saved only for battles and for once wished Jubei could see the anger that emanated through them. Somehow, the blind man needn't see to know how his friend was feeling now.  
  
"Kadsuki please let me explain."  
  
"Why?!" the former member of the four kings bit back. "Why should I let you explain Jubei? There's nothing to explain." A somewhat uncharacteristically forced smile found itself to Kadsuki's lips. "You found somebody else."  
  
"It's not like that."  
  
"Oh? Is that so.........?" the grin disappeared as Kadsuki's voice filled was with disbelief that Jubei would still deny that even if he caught him in the act, the tears still flowed freely from his eyes. "Jubei.........how could you.........?" his calm voice now cracking. "I trusted you Jubei," a sob soon followed and as Kadsuki was about to continue, he was cut short by the soft lips of his protector descending on his own.  
  
Brown eyes widened in shock that his friend would use this method of silencing him but he didn't object. He hadn't the strength left in him to do so. He just produced a sob that was muffled by the older man's lips and the tears poured out as he shut his eyes.  
  
When Jubei broke free from the chaste kiss, Kadsuki had calmed down a bit but was still angry at his guardian. "Jubei,"  
  
"Kadsuki." The blind man countered, not giving him a chance to start with his hysteria. "What happened in the alley was not what you think it was. That was just Himiko helping me sort out my feelings."  
  
"Help you sort out you feelings? Bet she did a good job there. She managed to get you say the one thing I wanted to hear from you. Himiko huh? Never expected her to be the one. Then again, I never expected you to betray me for the second time." Hurt mixed with sarcasm now evident on his voice  
  
"No, it's not what you think."  
  
"Then what is it Jubei?! If you plan to play me for an idiot then at least tell me when it's going to end because I can't take this anymore, this heart ache........." Kadsuki broke down into sobs again as he turned his head away from the man in front of him, not wanting anything but for it to all stop.  
  
The Kakei heir slowly reached out both his arms and brought the trembling figure of his friend to lean on his chest. The thread master tensed in the hold but allowed his protector to bring him in for a hug. He continued to cry in the embrace as his hand found Jubei's shirt to clutch desperately at it. How he hated Jubei for making him like this. No matter how far he ran or where he would hide, he knew that his feelings for his guardian would never change.  
  
He felt a hand run down the side of his face while the other kept a steady hold on the small of his back to make sure that he stays there as the soft voice of his guardian continued with his explanation. "Himiko was helping me sort out my feelings, yes, but those were not my feelings for her rather for you."  
  
"What?" Kadsuki sounded surprised as he slightly pulled away from the warm embrace of his friend to look at his face in order to see if he was lying.  
  
"I know that you wanted to know how I felt for you but I couldn't voice them out so casually so I asked Himiko for help. I couldn't seem to say it when I'm around you so we pretended that I was telling it to Himiko. That was probably when you walked in on us."  
  
"Really Jubei?" hope slowly erasing the other emotions that threatened to destroy their relationship.  
  
"Mm........." Jubei said with a nod. "And the truth of the matter is, Kadsuki, I love you. I love you more than anything, even life itself. I love you far more than you think I do. I would do anything for you, anything. I love you Kadsuki."  
  
"Oh Jubei!" Kadsuki exclaimed as he jumped back into the man's arms and buried himself into Jubei's neck. "Jubei I love you too. I'm sorry I doubted you. I love you, I'm sorry. I love you........." tears that came out of his eyes this time weren't those of pain but of joy.  
  
Jubei's hand came to tilt Kadsuki's face upward and his thumb went to brush away the tears pooling in his eyes. "No need to apologize." He said to reassure his lover that there weren't any grudges held.  
  
"Jubei?" Kadsuki started  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"When you said you loved me, were you thinking of Himiko so that you could say it straight?" A teasing and sly smile now evident on his lips.  
  
A big red blush spread through the guardian's cheeks. "O-of course not!"  
  
The young Fuchoin successor gave a hearty chuckle as he brought Jubei's head down close enough for their noses to touch and slowly whispered the words. "I know." But this time came the additional phrase. "I love you."  
  
After all, would he have any more reasons to doubt his guardian, whom he already knew found the one and only love of his life.........?  
  
owari  
  
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Ooooh! (Bounces around like mad) I never expected it to turn out like this......... (Wide grin) good huh? Yes? No.........? Eh......... whatever your thoughts about this ficcy, please direct 'em to the review box down below. Please keep in mind that this is my first GB fic so be kind. And depending on what you guys plan on writing on the review box will determine my fate in the Get Backers category. In other words if you guys think I should continue with GB, then kindly leave a nice review. Otherwise if you leave a flame or of the sort, I'll probably be spotted slinking back into my hole never to emerge again in the world of GB...........ehehehe. Ahem. I think that's about it. Review please minna! =)  
  
-Gunning Angel- 


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